Selfish Sacrifices
By
Apurva Malewar

The turn of events in the recent months has been quite a revelation; coming across a majority of people who have been making selfish sacrifices to satiate their own selfish needs with a portrayal of goodness that showcases their good. Any good done is good as long as it is unconditional, if it does impact us in a way which is positive.
Many of us have been victims of such selfish sacrifices, when we usually indulge in helping people around us, be it strangers, acquaintances or just random people, it starts out unconditionally, but then when realization hits us we fathom the fact that we have been the victims of circumstance. A majority of people that I have spoken to say that many deeds go wasted, I mean that’s how they see things, it’s totally different from what we see. If one does have to look at it from my point of view one will understand, that its not as easy as being unconditionally giving. Most people really thing that they got this world of goodness within them, that’s living in denial. What we may perceive to be good will be good unless and until unconditional. In my opinion it does not matter how often one visit’s the holy shrines or if one really does worship idols, Faith, sure I agree. But, if you have the possession of conditional giving then it really is selfish. I profoundly feel its limiting oneself to a licensed sin.
If you are gonna come down upon me with the logic of Darwin’s Theory where “Survival of the Fittest” applies, Give me a break, this ain’t no jungle, we have needs , means and substitutes to rely on. Darwin’s theory does not fall into the bracket of economics we humans have mastered, with respect to luxuries and necessities.
Yes, we all are made to gain something from one another, but I believe it needs to be communicated, if you are an asshole it’s better to be up front with it, because it does not really hold face value when one wears a mask. Anyway we are all different people and we have different sides, and we come from different walks of life, but one thing remains the same. The fact of “Realizations” they make an integral part of our thinking. Yes most of us realize through experience and through mistakes we make, the shit that we usually get involved with, and when one really touches the realms of betrayal and experiences it one really tends to think if it was worth it.
Let me hit upon you on a small story, see it from my experience, I met this person two years ago, very fine, very hospitable, very humble, how I failed to realize it was a mask she had put on, only I can fathom. It was so bad I failed to reckon with her real side, what was a camouflage; I later realized that she played this game so fine and with quite a few people. Now she was older, Had her share with one partner already, and well she succumbed into the realm of “Selfish sacrifices” she made you feel that she really did sacrifice for you, her considerations on sacrifices were coming down to another city to live in, or to forgo a few friends who really didn’t matter, her quitting her heavy drinking habit, something she really never did, really her sacrifices amounted to tid bits, the way I see it, and am sure you will agree.
She really did play me beautifully, everyone said that this pre planned game has been so phenomenal, that this bitch seemed like a pro, and hell yeah she is playing someone else right now. Insecure by nature, having been out of a home, having being with no family to care, which again has been, courtesy her selfish and miserable deeds, that when looked upon now has been subject to profound shame, I can’t really fill these pages with such negative comments. Well I got involved, she had her insecurities even after being honest with her, with my past, the pictures with my past women, etc…. in less than two weeks she started showing me who she really was, the money mattered, the other men mattered, coming home late at night mattered, which she always was prompt with, and well going out partying and staying up at people’s houses mattered, It was totally un acceptable until I realized that I was her boy toy, and that was it, it had to stop, Finally I decided after a week that the money stopped, she realized that this was not working out her way, she started looking for reasons to destroy what was left, and well she left , I am assuming she had someone else to feat on, Her predatory instincts kicked off , to suck her next victim out dry….That Poor guy… anyway, she later fixes me up by her lies, her sob stories, etc… demands money through cash , so it’s been like a hundred grand and a half, in cash over a span of 3 months…. Which is quite a lot of money, to this day I have no idea what happened to it, and there is no way I can account for it. She played me real smart. When I questioned her about it, she felt that I needed the money back and well, she threw the baton right on my head, with her lies and her spells of tears, she made me the victim, and stated that if I was to be safe I should give her some more money. I challenged her threat and I told her that she had taken enough that was it, I ain’t gonna give her nothing, she could threaten me, do whatever she wanted, so she did warn me with hard hitting consequences, and then came the day of reckoning her words of destruction. She dragged me to the gates of punishment, with her lies, and stated that now she needed more money thousands of grand in order to redeem me from the clutches of her punishment. I started to think, I did this coz she had no family, no education, no life, no security, she threw herself at me the first time we met, played with my emotions, took all my money, tried to ruin my life, and if that was not enough now she needed more???
The gates of Justice, don’t see it that way, to them if they only could see through and read her face and intentions could they judge what trauma she put me through. But she did not have something I did, a set of amazing family and friends who stood by me though all this shit.
I start of think of it and wonder what was I thinking then, I clearly was not using my head, she used her magic played with my emotions, made me go hungry for love which she never had, so well I was a sucker to her load of shit. Thinking about it now makes me laugh…. She won’t survive this for long, because, she will be alone for the rest of her life, her mother clearly is not proud of her, no mother would be and this is real sad. I pity her…. My heart goes out to her family for they sure did bring this parasite into this world.
Well anyway so much for selfish Sacrifices, I hope it makes more sense to you people, A blog that needed some unwinding so you all could judge the people we get to meet, not all are like that but you can never judge when you will be the victim of circumstance, when such people, parasites of her species , start to tread on your life, one better watch out, because in order to secure their life they will try to con us of our own, they can turn one’s life upside down… we are all smart people and we sure can judge people, but sometimes we just turn blind… We need to be more watchful.
I now realize it…. The mistakes….. and so should you!!!! 

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